It took three and a half years. But COVID finally got me. Took me out for a solid 14 days followed by another 5-ish of fatigue and lingering congestion. In December. As a single mom business owner mental health clinician…IN DECEMBER. Yea shitty timing. But I managed to recover in time for a trip to NYC to celebrate my beautiful niece with my kids and sister and sister-in-law. We did the things. Saw Little Shop of Horrors. I felt like less of a bad Mom bringing my two 8 yr old boys to it when I saw many other children younger then mine there. IYKYK.

I brought my kids to a Lantern Light Tour with some friends and we stayed over night at a hotel to shop before and after. It was 12/22 and I had been out of commission for two weeks and I’m thinking what the hell am I doing away from home this close to Christmas?! But in the morning when we were eating breakfast one of my sons looked at me and said, “This is my favorite. Can this be a tradition? And next year we come back and do it all again?”

And I thought, okay, yes. That’s why I decided to do this. I had to “adjust my expectations” as one my mom friends reminded me. The Lantern Light Tour was different then when I was a kid, and a lot different with five boys in tow.

At the end we found Santa in a church and he sat with all the boys and showed them “magic” and spent a solid fifteen minutes with them on a pew heads bent over his magic music boxes. Core Memory.

What I continue to learn as a Mom, especially a single mom, is nothing will go as planned. Nothing will be what I expect. And I need to be open to that. I need to be open to being in the moment because the moments that are different and unexpected are shaping my kids childhood and they are loving it.

I am so grateful for each day with my kids. I am grateful for them being 8. Because this year suddenly things got easier, they are more fun, more big kid, less little kid, and I can actually relax and enjoy them. Most of all 2023 has given me joy in being a mom of twin boys. I never need to have newborns again. All set with that stage. Toddlers were fun, but still rather isolating, difficult to travel with.

These 8 year olds are where it’s at. We did NYC without me fearing they would randomly walk into traffic. They have more awareness of the world around them. They are still wild, but less wild. It makes me hopeful for our international trip coming up in April…Single Mom does JFK woo hoo!

To the single parents this holiday season: We made it. You did it. Your kids are loved. And you are loved. And fuck COVID.