lesbian mom

Moira Rose’s Wisdom…Take Naked Pics.

Schitt’s Creek is one of my favorite shows (DAVID!) A part that has always stayed with me is an episode where Moira Rose (the mom) tries to find naked pictures of herself online that she thought were posted. She can’t find them. It’s a whole thing. But at one point she says to Stevie who is young enough to be her daughter,

“Then allow me to offer you some advice: Take a thousand, naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think, “Oh, I’m too spooky.” Or, “Nobody wants to see these tiny boobies.” But, believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, “Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!”

I loved that line.

My weight has waxed and waned throughout my life. I was never secure. I got height and boobs far sooner than all the other girls in my grade. And by the time they all passed me in height, well to this day they still think I’m taller and they stand at least 2-3 inches taller.

I’ve been called fat. I’ve been called “slim”. I’ve been called beautiful. I’ve been called ugly.

Needless to say I’ve always been a bit insecure about how I present to the world based on the feedback.

Then of course carrying babies and having them cut out of me didn’t help.

But I actually followed Moira’s advice. And let me tell you…it’s a challenge. Because the whole iCloud situation and having kids. So note to self- before you embark on nude photos- make a separate iCloud account for your kids. And/Or turn off your iCloud sharing with photos. And then never. I mean never. Loan out your phone. Keep them in a separate album. Hide the album. Password protect that shit. I knew I would need to do all of the above, and let me tell you it’s worked.

Not only are my pics secure from anyone. But I absolutely do look back at them and think, “Damn, look at me. I’m beautiful”. And then, the more I do it, the longer it happens, it’s now been 4 years! I appreciate the pictures. I appreciate myself. I love myself more. If you’ve watched Schitt’s Creek you are probably thinking huh. Pretty damn weird that Moira gave actual life changing advice. But she did.

Now to clarify, I’m not taking nudes daily. It’s a couple times a year when I remember this is something that helps me. I hate it. In the moment I absolutely despise all the curves, all the stretch marks, all the scars. But then a year later…it’s all “Damn, I was freaking beautiful”.

Then slowly, over time, you realize if you were beautiful then, when you “hated” yourself, you’re probably beautiful now. You can probably let go of the self hate and replace it with some self love.

So do it up people. Take all the naked pics you can tolerate…but seriously…password protect that shit.