Dykes and Daycare Part II

We went to the movies for the first time with the boys last weekend. We saw Toy Story 4. I noted the scene at daycare drop off with a biracial lesbian couple hugging their child good-bye in the background. It was less than three seconds of screen time. But I wanted to stand up and be like “Hell yeah! Disney rocks!”

I didn’t though. I felt it all on the inside. (Birdcage reference…anybody?) I thought Toy Story 4 was rubbish. But I got to have a drink and recline while watching it and there was a biracial lesbian couple in the movie. All good things.

Then of course I had to read articles about “family values” and how Disney is forwarding the “homosexual agenda” blah blah blah. I’m still thinking ‘fuck yeah Disney!’.

Two women hugging their child good-bye at daycare. This is generally what happens on the regular with my wife and I. We are not always there together. But everyone knows the boys have two mom’s. I think it’s kind of funny that something Disney shows in the background is our every day. And there are articles and protests and boycotts because of it.

I’m thinking is there any one at daycare boycotting us? I don’t know.

I know tonight I was floating in my pool with Toy Story 3 playing on the deck, the boys laughing and eating pops while watching it, thinking it’s so cool to watch a movie on the deck, and it felt like one of those moments that I wanted when we were trying to get pregnant. I just couldn’t put that moment into words at the time.

I wanted a family. I wanted my wife talking to me while we relaxed in the pool listening to the boys in the background and Toy Story 3. It was indescribable. One of those “all the feel’s” moments. Perfection.

The last movie I saw in the theaters before Toy Story 4…I was pregnant and it was Into the Woods. The central premise is the baker’s wife trying to get pregnant. I sobbed the entire time while rubbing my belly. I worked so hard for those boys. My wife and I scarificed so much to have them.

Tonight for an evening; I know why I sobbed during Into the Woods. I know why I loved seeing a biracial lesbian couple in Toy Story 4. Because it was like I came full circle. Last movie I saw was a woman struggling to conceive. Now I could see a family.

I think it’s funny that people who preach “family values” think lesbians don’t have any.

Not funny. That’s simplifying an incredibly hurtful and deeply profound gut reaction I have when I read these articles by heterosexual good Christians preaching marriage the way God intended it to be. It’s painful to have most of our country think my family is not a family or less than their own family because of it’s make-up.

When Disney and any other major media outlet puts Queers in their shows or movies it is “normalizing” my family. It is saying, “We see you,” and for that I feel the opposite of that gut wrenching hurt. I feel hope. I feel seen. I feel loved.

It’s important. Queer visibility. Don’t minimize it. Don’t ignore it. Be part of the change.